Sure, I could attempt to craft some thoughtful, eloquent post about the true meaning of the holidays or the childlike wonder that infuses us all at this time of year. But I won’t. Instead, I’ll give you a random, disjointed list of things that are currently on my mind. How’s that?
- Why do I always experience Internet connection problems when I’m the only one home to deal with them? And why does it always happen when I’m waiting for a Very Important E-mail? And why does it take Miles’ entire naptime for Comcast to resolve the issue over the phone?
- Does this baby in my belly hate me, or is its constant kicking and punching a reaction to what I’m eating? I’m sorry, kid, but when I’m stressed, I eat sugar!
- Are all the companies that are still in business run by Ebenezer Scrooge? How else do you explain laying off employees mere weeks before the holidays, or requiring remote workers to report to the (out-of-state) offices every single day through the end of the year? Also? What the hell’s up with 7:30 a.m. and 6-8 p.m. meetings? Unless there’s spiked eggnog involved, it’s just cruel.
- Is my toddler suffering from a split personality disorder? Because otherwise, I’m stymied by this increasingly prevalent behavior:
Me: “Miles, would you like a bite of my grilled cheese?”
Miles: “No, thank you.”
Me: “Munch, munch, swallow.”
Miles, tears appearing out of nowhere: “I DO want a bite, Mamaaaa!! Take it out of your mouf!!”
- Why is my husband the hardest person on earth to buy a present for? I’ve given him CD players, watches, clothes, all kinds of things he suggested and in some cases specifically picked out, and they almost always end up getting returned or going unused. The Nike watch of ’07 is still a sore subject.
- Are people really so obsessed with discounted merchandise that they will trample a Wal-Mart employee to DEATH?? Sadly, it looks like the answer to that is yes. Get a grip, people.
- Do I need to get a present for X? If not, what if they unexpectedly give ME one? Should I buy a generic backup present just in case?
- Is it too late to get a good photo for our family Christmas card?
- Why is Miles up all night with a cough the minute my husband goes out of town?
- Is the washing machine really broken, or just leaking?
PRAYER O’ THE WEEK: Please keep my neighbor in your thoughts. Her husband works (worked) for one of the aforementioned companies. Two kids, another on the way, Christmas in two weeks, and he gets laid off. Nice, huh?