Wardrobe Malfunction

Good-bye, shrunken T-shirts. Farewell, faded cargo pants. Good riddance, bleach-stained warmup jacket. Yes, people, this weekend I decided to—wait for it—OVERHAUL MY WARDROBE.

If you can use the word “wardrobe” to describe my pathetic collection of mismatched clearance-rack finds, are-they-or-aren’t-they maternity shirts, and rarely-worn formal wear.

I don’t have an event to go to or an ex-boyfriend to impress. It’s just that I reached the tipping point, probably when I realized I was wearing a holey T-shirt my husband brought home from a business trip to Las Vegas...5 years ago.

So I set out for the outlet mall, blissfully solo. The last time I spent an entire day shopping for myself was 2008. I came home with tons of stuff for my son, but barely a single outfit for me. Other ill-fated shopping trips include the time I went in search of skinny jeans. I consider just buying a couple of accessories at Target a big deal.

First of all, shopping takes time. The walking around, the trying stuff on, the bathroom breaks, the refueling at the food court… But funny thing -- if you’re not weighed down with a stroller, diaper bag, a couple of kids, and a bazillion snacks, you can actually zip in and out of stores rather quickly.

Have you noticed that a lot of outlets are not really outlets? They either sell the same stuff as the regular store (at the same slightly discounted prices) or they sell lower quality stuff made specifically for the outlet store. (Yes, you, J. Crew.) But there are still a few true bargains out there and I scored some big ones. I’m talking 70% off, under $10, big-name brands, too.

My best haul was from Eddie Bauer. I know!! You’re thinking frumpy, outdoorsy, flannel and plaid, right? Wrong. They’ve made themselves over, like Banana Republic and J. Crew. I found embellished T-shirts, dark-wash denim trousers, and cute cords. The biggest compliment was when I tried on my purchases for my hubs at home and he said, “Nice. That looks like Anthropologie.” (Yeah, he’s got a little metro in him.)

And you can’t go wrong at the Loft (which, strangely, seems to have dropped the “Ann Taylor” from its name). Love their basic tees and accessories.

OK, OK, I couldn’t resist the Gymboree outlet. But I only bought one shirt for each kid, I swear!

When I got home, I tried on all my new clothes with stuff I already had. I “shopped my closet” as the fashion experts on the makeover shows say. And what do you know? Once I weeded out all the ill-fitting Old Navy crap, I actually have some cute things! Who knew a couple “statement necklaces,” colorful scarves, and fitted jackets could transform this frumpy soccer mom into a suburban fashionista?

But I’m hanging onto the Las Vegas T-shirt. I mean, let’s not go too crazy. I still spend half my life at the playground, you know.


Judy Schwartz Haley | CoffeeJitters.Net said...

funny, my husband loves to go to Anthropologie too.

One of these days I'm going to have to overhaul my wardrobe too. I have a fantasy about being kidnapped by Stacey and Clinton and whisked off to NY for What Not to Wear - except they don't do the part where they make fun of the clothes I'm currently wearing.

Neena said...

I want to see pictures of all the cute stuff!!!

Paolo said...

Glad you found some of your new "overhaul" apparel at one of our stores!

Paolo at Eddie Bauer

Angie Mizzell said...

You have inspired me to get on with it... I can't believe I still haven't gone shopping after writing a whole series on HOW to do it. My husband (also quite metro) told me to try Zappos. He says it's a great website and free shipping. Perhaps I'll try to shop online.

Mom2Miles said...

Pictures? I don't know. It's one thing to rock my new look at pre-K pickup. It's quite another to put it out there for all the world to judge!

Angie, the thing about shopping online is you can't try stuff on or see how the stores style it. I'm telling you, I wouldn't have tried on half this stuff if I didn't see the cute displays showing how it looked as part of a complete outfit.

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

Very impressed. I find shopping for oneself to be quite an undertaking. Sounds like you hit it out of the park! I've been thinking I need to do a wardrobe makeover too...my current closet sounds a lot like your pre-makeover wardrobe. You've inspired me to plan a little mall trip myself...

Heather said...

I have given you a blog award! Have a great wednesday. If I can stop by later to read you post I will....kinda in a hurry right now, but want you to know I think your blog is awesome!!!

Heather from Mommy Only Has Two Hands!

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