3/20/11

Too Much Togetherness

I have a request: can everyone just please stop touching me? Stop poking me when I’m sleeping, stop head-butting me in the back of the knees when I’m making your toast, stop climbing up my leg when I’m trying to drink my coffee.

Look, I’m all for affection and togetherness. I love hugs, kisses, and snuggles. Lord knows I smooch my kids a million times a day. But enough’s enough! Sometimes I just want to sit on the couch and read a magazine without someone dive-bombing me, pinching me, or sitting pressed up so close to me that when he sneezes, we both need a tissue.

And honestly? Sometimes I don’t know if it’s storytime or a rugby scrum. Can’t we sit NEXT to each other and read a book? Does everyone really need to be on top of each other like a litter of newborn puppies? Because you guys are wiggly. And elbowy. We rarely get through an entire story without someone getting kneed in the face or another tender area.

There are some days when I feel like I’ve been probed by aliens from head to toe. From someone inspecting my nostrils when he’s squirming next to me in bed in footie PJs, to someone poking every freckle and spot while I’m getting dressed, to someone pulling on my arm to come turn on the TV, find the Spongebob toothpaste, or poke the straw into a juicebox. Today Riley was grabbing my toes to inspect my new pedicure. (It DOES look nice, but does he have to touch it?)

BTW, funny how both boys will jump on my back for a piggyback ride and fight over who gets to sit in my lap, but when it comes time to hold hands to cross the street, no one wants to come near me.

And if anyone’s tempted to leave me a comment about how someday I’ll be desperate to get eye contact from my kids, let alone a hug? Don’t. NOT THE TIME.

Right now I just want to be left alone. Keep your hands to yourself and walk away from Mommy. I love you just as much at arm’s length. Maybe more.

11 comments:

Kathleen@so much to say said…

Hee hee! I resemble this post. Mostly I don't understand why my breasts are the lever of choice for any shift in position!!! 🙂

Neena said…

I get it. Man, do I get it!

Katie said…

I hear ya. I feel the same way some days. Kids want to touch everything and always right now.

Kara G. said…

Just last week I imposed a "mommy gets to eat breakfast without anyone sitting in my lap" rule. Just 5 minutes is all I ask! (and as far as the boob comment goes, why are my nursing boobs the only target for my toddler's elbows?) Yes, I feel your pain! Thanks for posting!

McMommy said…

CANNOT. STOP. LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!
Nail on the head, my friend. Sometimes, I want to impose a "no one talk for 20 minutes..let's just enjoy the silence" rule too.

Stamp by the Light of the Moon.com said…

I love your posts! Do you do reviews of any books? I have recently released an awesome new book for moms and moms-to-be. The website is www.babynotesbook.com if you'd like to check it out. ALthough it's only been out for two weeks, it's doing really well already. If you'd like a copy, please let me know.
Sincerely, Jen Cowart Author of Baby Notes: Practical wisdom from one mother to another.

Vera said…

Hilarious! My daughter is only one; I will enjoy this time when she's not big enough to climb and crawl all over me while I'm sitting on the sofa. The only thing is this: I'm not even allowed to sit on the sofa!! She lets me know in no uncertain terms that she wants her mommy on the floor with her!

Anonymous said…

Thanks for this great post… always feels good to know another mom gets it, because my husband never does!!!

Sarah said…

love it. actually hate it. love the post, hate the pushing on my legs (wedging himself between me and the counter) when i'm trying to cook. May be better than a head butt to the knee though? 🙂 My least favorite is when Graham screams to get out of the high chair then promptly runs to my chair (while I'm finishing my meal) and demands to be picked up. Give me five more minutes to eat please?! Too much to ask.

Kelli @ writing the waves said…

I know exactly where you are coming from – I've had days where I feel like a human jungle gym. And my husband wonders why I stay in my own little corner of the couch instead of snuggling up next to him to watch TV. haha 😉

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said…

Love this! My husband would totally agree with you as well, because he sits next to our 4 year old at the dinner table – our wiggly, cuddly, arm poking, backslapping, ear tickling 4 year old.

Oh, and I'm totally with McMommy on the "no talking" rule. I actually banished my kid from the table the instant he finished his cereal this morning because I just could…not…handle the talky talky! Too much, too early!!

Related Posts with Thumbnails